it's another of the 'dont-talk-just-think' session. though i dont like the idea but i respect his decision. i spent the rest of the remaining hours in my bunk eating the instant noodle i stole from Herman (paiseh shall replace for you.) and thinking.

while watching the tv i saw this advertisement which spur me thinking. 'Love actually is all about giving' i gave a thought to this sentence and found it quite true. that's maybe the thing that might be hindering us.

then while watching 'America's got talent' show i remembered something Rachael in 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' said. 'if you hate something.' 'then do something about it.'

she hates me speaking sarcastically. -so i try not to.
she doesnt like me hanging up calls. -i make sure i dont end the call unless i dont have a choice.
she says i am naggy. -it's kinda hard for me to change but i dont mind trying.
she says i dont even know basic english. -then teach me. i dont mind learning.
she says i am weird. -well i find myself weird too.

all i want is to spend quality time. happy times. making her days memorable. (in a good way.) i will try and try.

well i guess the good and bad thing about me is that i am too stubborn on this relationship. i want to see it through. 1 year. 2 years. 5 years. till the day we say yea it's enough it's time to settle down.

i love you. i really do. and i am not ready to give up this relationship yet. and i hope you are not too.

i miss you. you never know how lonely i felt without you even if it's just a day. it just felt like everything faded black and white. i want you in my life.