after a few nights unable to sleep without thinking of grandpa i think i can say that i am feeling abit better. so many things happened within a week even superman would say:"woah that's hell lot of 'em" lol.

i just want to enjoy life as much as i can and hope i can spread happiness to people around me especially my loved ones. but for this period of time i think i will be spending more time with my family. i think they need my help.

life can be simple but yet happy.

17th Dec

LAST DAY @ MANDAI HILL CAMP!!!

as the title suggests today would be my last day in mandai hill for 2008!or maybe not i am actually going back for 2 half days on christmas eve and new year eve. dont want to waste my leave. :)

actually life at camp quite slack this few days.and today i totally overslept until 8.10am.OMG.it's my first time.well i guess i can blame the weather.lol.

sometimes i wonder why some guys like their girls to put on heavy makeups.i thought the thing that attracts them are their natural appearance?.well it's good that girls put on makeup once in a while but not too heavy.at least for me.if not you might as well put water on the face to make some soup?.heavy makeup aint for me.

guys get this straight: like a girl for who she is and how she looks naturally.no matter what flaws they have be ready to accept them because no one is perfect.

with christmas around the corner. baby bought me this boxers which i havent got the chance to try it on yet.i still have some shopping to do for my family and baby's family too.

well must get back to my secret mission!

darling i miss you badly...

just when i was walking to the toilet to pee the night before i saw alvin who was abit 'high' from alcohol. he was seriously 'high' and we practically had some sort of fun watching him.

i tossed and turned. i cant sleep. even with the headache probably due to the heatiness. might be that weird tasting peanut butter. woke up at 3am and head to the nature's ground a.k.a toilet to return nature's calling.

and i slept past breakfast!. i had a funny dream (have been having dreams lately) maybe due to my new concept for JCs. i didnt know the students were that 'open'. woke up at 7.15am with a itchy throat. and i am missing you.

opened armskote and went over to the mess for breakfast with herman and eddie. as usual i ordered the CARROTCAKE. believe me that CARROTCAKE deserves to be in capital. it's just that hard to find such standards outside and it only cost you 2 bucks.

went over to return stores and stuffs. we talked about the previous batch and about ORDing. time kinda flies for this past few months. i think it should be you. you who made my life more interesting and made me understand about somethings that i never knew before.

went back and changed into my uniform for lunch. lunch's kinda plain because i skipped the mutton. but there were papayas and i grabbed 2 of them. (so that even ma.lol.) went back to company and waited to close the armskote.

went up to bunk and had a refreshing shower. damn i really needed that shower although it didnt help much with the headache. bradley took a halfday off and i saw him at the corridor so i talked to him.

me:"half day off ar?"
bradley:"yea man alright see you."
me:"yea see you."
so i wondered.

i tried to go back and rejenuvate on my bed. (p.s. it's just an excuse for being lazy :)

woke up because of the 2 papayas and the digested food had a smooth journey to the white-looking container which i sit on. ok now that i feel lighter i can sleep better :)

woke up at 4.30 and decided to have my cup of coffee to see whether it helps the headache. but sadly it doesnt :( but it does warm up my throat abit. i am missing you so much that i wish i hug you now. just that i cant communicate with you. helpless i felt.

just want to let you know that i love you.

it's another of the 'dont-talk-just-think' session. though i dont like the idea but i respect his decision. i spent the rest of the remaining hours in my bunk eating the instant noodle i stole from Herman (paiseh shall replace for you.) and thinking.

while watching the tv i saw this advertisement which spur me thinking. 'Love actually is all about giving' i gave a thought to this sentence and found it quite true. that's maybe the thing that might be hindering us.

then while watching 'America's got talent' show i remembered something Rachael in 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' said. 'if you hate something.' 'then do something about it.'

she hates me speaking sarcastically. -so i try not to.
she doesnt like me hanging up calls. -i make sure i dont end the call unless i dont have a choice.
she says i am naggy. -it's kinda hard for me to change but i dont mind trying.
she says i dont even know basic english. -then teach me. i dont mind learning.
she says i am weird. -well i find myself weird too.

all i want is to spend quality time. happy times. making her days memorable. (in a good way.) i will try and try.

well i guess the good and bad thing about me is that i am too stubborn on this relationship. i want to see it through. 1 year. 2 years. 5 years. till the day we say yea it's enough it's time to settle down.

i love you. i really do. and i am not ready to give up this relationship yet. and i hope you are not too.

i miss you. you never know how lonely i felt without you even if it's just a day. it just felt like everything faded black and white. i want you in my life.

5th Dec Friday

it's the brigade's 40th year anniversary and yes they have alot of good sinful food awaiting us. guss i have to workout and jog more than ever for the next few weeks. lol.

it's the first time i sat down at the audience seats and watch the parade. normally i would be standing there. it started drizzling and turned into a 3minute downpour and i felt so relieved that i wasnt standing there.

the parade was quite good especially with the fireworks to go along. and when everyone thought that they could leave after that. we have to wait for all the people to come back before we could be dismissed.

personally i dont find a reason to keep us behind just to leave as a company. i find it useless for those of us who were doing nothing and lazing around just to wait for time to pass. why dont give those who worked longer a half day off? but this is just me so i just have to keep quiet about it.

shared a cab with ke gan and ting fu back to cwp before i took a bus home. put down my stuffs before i took a cab to baby's side. i miss her alot. and i miss my family too.

6th Dec Sat

i followed baby to bukit gombak for driving lessons which after that i went with her mum to walk around the estate. after that we went to bugis for shopping. unfortunately i have problems with my nose. guess the tap wasnt turned tight enough so i was practically walking around with a piece of tissue stucked in my nose. lol.

well it's been sometime since i came to bugis street ever since that time with my polymates. and the crowd's still the same. the music was louder and the crowd's getting younger. walked around the area before my nose took too much of me and baby decided to go to plaza singapore to wait for her dad before we go over for ben and jerry.

i love you..
i truly do..