how long has it been since i had this feeling again.

i dont know.

there seems to be a war in my brain right now.

i feel like stopping her.

i mean i have been to and experience such places.

to be honest i wouldnt like her to be in such places.

but i cant be selfish.

i cant control her life too.

sorry i aint any party animal.

seems like i drank too much vinegar in my previous lives.

lol.

i hate this feeling.

25thApril.

went out with miss sunshine for lunch at chongpang~.and she tore off my slipper's brand tag!.lol.naughty naughty.lol.i also dont know where i put that poor tag.haha.it's super hot.

reached chongpang.walked in to the market there.ordered 'yu pian mee fen' and 'chee chong fan'.the chee chong fan was those special type with fillings inside.those hong kong style 1.tasty i must say especially with the sauce.(like what miss sunshine said :)

the fish bee hoon was hmm..not up to standard.it used to have the deep fried egg or 'zha dan' in it.but it didnt came with the egg and i thought miss sunshine dont like the vaporized milk so i asked the uncle not to add!.so sorry~.next time ask him add more.extra more k?. :)

bought sugarcane juice and walked around chongpang.talked about my childhood and her childhood. :) sent her to her ah ma house.sorry should have taken the bus.soooo hot luh.haha.and i realise how close my ah ma house and her ah ma house were.ok not very close but it's only like 5 minutes walk??.lol.

took 965 back.aircon!.lol.reached home and took a bath.then changed into uniform then went out.walked to marsiling station.was sweating again..boarded the train.then received a call from sungeigedong camp.my shift timing changed.it's supposed to be at 7pm then changed to 10pm. :(

WHY?!?!if not can spend more time with you..haiz..so no choice i alighted at kranji and walked over to the other side to take mrt back..went home and bathed again.this is the day that i bathed so many times in a row.took dinner and went out.

reached chuachukang station at 8pm.waited for 975 for 10minutes.asked the bus driver to notify me when the bus reaches the camp cuz this is my first time going there by bus.the journey was quite freaky cuz it passesby the cemetery. woo...

reached the busstop.thank you uncle~.but still have to walk in.by myself.ALONE.lol.800meters into the 'unknown'.just joking.i have been to this camp before.so i already can expect the walking in journey.

reached the place at 9.30pm.haha.i went around talking with my friend.too bad not the same timing.thought can go home with him but my shift ends at 10PM!!.lol.24hours in a row.the people down there say start work at 3am so can go rest.

rested in an air-conditioned, mozzies filled room.i dont know why there are so many mozzies but i only know i have to kill them before they make me itch till i die~.lol.

total casualties:5
no. of bites:countless

the mozzies won.there are just too many of them.-_- hide under my jacket the mozzies also can fly in.commando rank mozzies.

woke up at 3.30am.have to pack the food for the people down there.it's quite tiring i must say.cuz just woke up then have to rush.went out on the rover to deliver the food.the journey's fun.lol.

went back and have to start packing lunch.the others sent out to send the lunch.finally time to rest~.rested my head on the table.then switched to the safari bed.still cant sleep!.too hot + mozzies flying about.-_-

woke up to pack dinner.then pack supper.then it's time to wait for book out!!!.finally.walked out to take 975.luckily i walked fast if not i will miss that bus then have to wait for 15minutes.lol.

reached home at 11pm.had noodles as my stomach was abit 'empty'.lol.gave miss sunshine a call.althought it's been only 1 day since i heard her voice but i miss her so much.had a nice chat with her.lol.right?nightz darling.haha. :)

27thApril.

woke up at 8am.the alarm woke me up and as usual i will *pia* then go back snore...woke myself up at 10am.lol.cant sleep too long if not i will have headaches.had 1 kosong 1 egg prata and kopi!.lol.went down to visit grandpa at around 12.45pm.

received another call from sungeigedong camp.changed my timing to 9am-9pm daily.which means 12hours work 12hours rest.it's more taxing on my rest but got more OFFS!.so i can take offs can spend time with you luh.hehe. :)

means i will be reporting tomorrow 9am.lol.

it's been so long since i took my field pack out of mandai camp.

and here i am.on the mrt to chuachukang with this big huge enormous fieldpack on my back.

i seriously look like some tortise from far.somemore green colour. -_-

met mr.Cher at lot1's taxi stand.waited for mr.Justin to drive us up to stagmont camp.

when we finally reached.we asked for information as to whom are we supposed to report to.a random officer helped us to ask.in the end it seems like we were at the wrong camp.they moved to sungei gedong camp.

-_- great.i dont know why the information isnt accurate.went to the hawker centre there to makan.ordered a cup of tea.

reached sungei gedong camp.been to this camp when i was in exercise Adtech.went in there and waited.waited.waited.

wasted alot of waiting time down there.i just received my shift and it is as below:

friday(25th)7pm-saturday(26th)9am
sunday(27th)7am-sunday(27th)9pm
monday(28th)7pm-tuesday(29th)9am
wednesday(30th)7am-wednesday(30th)9pm
thursday(1st)7pm-friday(2nd)9am
saturday(3th)7am-saturday(3th)9pm

23th April. 17:16:50

a miracle happened.

something that i have been waiting has come true.

omg.my heart was jumping as if it was on drugs.*pi pi pipipi pi pi*ok.stop that.

i dont know why i started grinning to myself.and i was staring at my handphone.(luckily my back was facing my friends if not they will start to suspect whether i went mad.lol)

thank you.thank you for giving me a chance.i will cherish it.i will try my best to do anything to make you happy. :) no need to stress too much.i like you the way you are. :)

a disaster happened.

something that i didnt anticipate has come true.

we were waiting for the chief of army to finish his talk.(we didnt attend it cuz we were doing stock check.)i dont know how many hours went passed.by the time i looked at my watch it was 7pm.

that's not the worst.we changed and went down to sign out.then madam told us another terrible news.the date for the ops has been changed to tomorrow.apparently they wanted us to go earlier so that they can brief us on the stuffs to do.

*staring at the ceiling*

what did i do to deserve all these..first was normination for this ops.i cancelled saturday's fishspa trip.and now this..super depressing.next was the packing of our stuffs to bring over to stagmont camp(chuachukang there.).last minute inform us so we seriously didnt think of what to bring over.

it's not over yet.when we went down.that madam was scolding people.for what reason?.people were complaining about the last minute notification.but did she ever asked herself who are the people who suffer?.it's us.i feel like it's natural that we will complain.somemore we didnt even have dinner and she's trying to drag us.

talked to PC (not personal computer.it's platoon commander) about the off i took for tomorrow.he said the off would be compensated after this ops which is after 2nd May.

i am so sorry about tomorrow's date.i will try to see if i can squeeze out of camp to go for dinner with you. :)

it's tuesday...road march...*performs rain dance*

'xia yu ba~xia yu ba~'

yes it did rained.but it's in the morning!. T.T

spent 1 hour+ reading MentalHospital.lol.took a short nap after reading while they are mass psping. -_- 'patapatapon..patapatapon..'.

think it's the cold weather which made my stomach hungry.it's like only 10.30am??.still have 1 more hour to last till i can go for lunch!.

lunch was pretty alright with rice.fried chicken drumstick.braised egg.steamed fish.long beans.soup.papaya.apple.lol.

was walking halfway back to bunk when my PC(platoon commander) told us 3 of us in the bunk was chosen to go for operation.(yes the same old one).i was quite pissed cuz i already have plans then this type of thing pops out.i think more of depressed than pissed.so sorry :(

i heard it's those sit down there and observe(more like feed the mozzies.like they say:BLEED FOR YOUR COUNTRY.NOT FOR THE MOZZIES.)and there are 2 options: the nice and quiet cemetery or the hawaii type coastline guard. -_-

it's going to stretch from this friday all the way till next friday.(including the public holiday..i hope it doesnt!.)

finally it's time to go for the road march.while waiting for the officers mr.Henry Foo and Keegan Teo were clapping hands to pray for rain.*it's not going to rain*lol.walked all the way out of the camp to the BKE bridge where we U-turned back.on the way back mr.Teo was feeling unwell so i
kinda like encouraged him to go on till he hit his best.so decided to fall him out because he wasnt stable.

walked back to company line then out again.on the way out mr. Edwin fall out too.continued with the march all the way till we hit 8km.poor mr Edwin vomitted.everyone passed him a cup of water i think by the end of the day he will be super bloated.

i know it's kinda hard trying to adapting.we will do it slowly.step by step k?.dont keep everything to yourself.that's because i will be here.have faith in yourself and me too.k? :)

havent been updating this ulu blog.lol.sooo sorry~.ok shall start with the guard duty that i did yesterday.

woke up at 6.15am and OTOT(own time own target) went for breakfast.there was only me and Justin in the bunk and only the 2 of us went for breakfast while the rest took breakfast on their beds. -_-''

draw arms(which is our rifle) then went for a parade.something like checking of the uniform and stuffs that we need to have on us while performing the duty.seriously i forget most of my parade commands.(long time never do leh.. -.-)

march to the guardhouse (near the maingate) me and Justin chose the 1st detail (something like 1st shift)so that we can skip some of the parades.wahaha.we already plan 'hao hao' in bunk.haha.

but it never strike us that a 'stand-to' was given so early in the morning.8.51am!.that's like super early luh.luckily we were on duty if not we have to run here and there.haha.

lunch was horrible.seriously it was chilli here.chilli there.oh my god.Mr. 'Ku Ming' a.k.a Henry Foo was sweating as if a cluster of rainy clouds were ontop of him.anyway he's Ku Ming because he was activated as a reserved duty personnel.that person who was supposed to do duty took MC.lol.

hanged on all the way till 8am.my eyelids can hardly keep opened.went back to my company block and do all the neccessary stuffs.just when we thought we could go up and rest..that madam asked for a chitchatsession with her.we were super pissed due to fact that we should be given priority to rest.

among the others who didnt do the guardduty there were a group of 'Justice Baos' sitting among there.i seriously dont care what she has to say.everytime say the same old lines and it seriously doesnt concern us at all.lol.i just sit down there and close my eyes.*evil*

finally end the 'hear-me-talk-you-dont-talk' session.by the time i reach my bunk i didnt have the mood to sleep so i chat with my friends about that irritating madam.

had PT(physical training) in the late afternoon.we did the 30-60.30 seconds sprint then 60 seconds to slow jog and it repeats..my officer introduced the super duper launches.do until my thighs numb.really super duper tiring. -_-

going to have a 8km road march tomorrow.should be quite easy.but it's been sometime since i completed my 24km on tekong.hmmm..let's see how it goes tomorrow.lol.

i did something.something that i couldnt believed i would do.i said 'I LIKE YOU'.honestly that's my first time saying that line.i have been trying to say that out for so many times and i never fail to fail to do that.lol.my heart was like in my mouth.but it felt great after i said that.haha.

:)

i like you.miss sunshine.

what ah Bao said is true.
but just let me be stupid for one last time.
after this time i wont venture anymore.

actually i myself have alot of weakness.
sometimes i fear i aint good enough.

but everyone sure have their own flaws.
why not just accept each other like the way they are.
then learn about each other's flaws.
help each other.
sure it does take time.
but we have a whole lifetime to do all those.

i aint going anywhere.
unless i hear 'that'.

15th April- A plain meaningful dinner.

was supposed to head towards Bugis to Sim Lim Square to buy some of the store lost.but halfway there OC called and told us no need to buy.we just went there and walk walk.had a drink at MOS burger there before going to SLS.the others have things to research on so we walked around to source for their stuffs.i was looking at the asus ee PC.quite portable and has a reasonable price.but i intend to wait for the IT show in june to take a look at the new edition with a larger screen and better specifications. :)

went back camp.thought could have R.O. (routine orders) then can run.dont know where that CSM went.she's one of the personnals who make my blood boil in the camp.wait wait wait until 'lao tian bu kai xin' and started to rain.this dampened my mood even more.but luckily it became less heavier while waiting for bus.then the bus took sooooo long.so decided to flag my 'own driver'.

sorry i was sooo late.especially when i am meeting you. :( wanted to surprise you but too bad i am too big-sized to be missed by the eye.haha.walked to hawkercentre behind the interchange.think i never went there to eat before.lol.the chicken rice was not bad but the sauce must go with the rice if not abit saltish for me.lol.'you ah ma de wei dao'.lol.i like looking at you.i dont know why.lol.sounds abit strange.haha. :)

aww.the dessert shop closed so early.nevermind we can go there next time in the future. :) thank you for the 'indian-essence' sundae!.(no offence for the 'indian-essence' :) walked the pasar malam (did i spelt it correctly teacher?. :) by the way.have you find the 'wang wang xiao man tou'? haha.

walked miss genevieve home.i like this part most.lol. :) hope your legs are not 'suan' from all the walking.haha.thank you for bringing me around your house area.haha. :) hope you like the card that i D.I.Y.ed haha.it's not as nice as those you can find in popular.but that's the 1 and only you could find on this earth.haha.will try to brush up my arts.lol.

met your mum and dad.i find them very friendly.very 'qing qie'. :) i took a peep into your house.woah that's a big living room you have there.lol. :D

shall update the other days missed out tomorrow?.lol.

individuals are not born perfect.
we make mistakes.we learn from mistakes.
the most important of all is to learn and accept each other's weakness.

i will wait.
and please.
dont ever say you are not a good girl or stuffs like that again.k? :)

time passes so fast.just in a wink of an eye mr.feilunhai a.k.a sergeant Aaron is leaving us.

it's quite sad cuz i have been under him for almost 5 months.been through all the 'sai gans' and all those scolding sessions from csm and oc.

overall he's a nice guy but sometimes over nice.when people dont want to work he just turn and aim at other target boards.which is me. :< nah.just joking.i willingly help him. :)

booked out rather early due to absence of csm and oc.hope everyday could be that way.tian xia tai ping!. :) went back home to put stuffs and 'touch up' on my appearance.

made my way to causeway point to meet ah Bao before making our way to plaza singapura.we chatted on our way there.chatted over relationship.he just ended his not long ago.dont know what happened between the 2 of them.hope he cheers up not just physically.mentally too.

he asked about mine.told him what happened.reached cafe cartel and found most of the people down there.mr Aaron was playing psp while the rest were looking into the menu.sat beside Edwin a.k.a mr.whale(he mispronounced will power as whale power.).

shared 1 plate of forest of mushroom pasta meal with Edwin.ordered a JUMBO COMBO seafood platter shared by 5 guys.we chatted and joked.of course with edwin's mispronounciation. :) until i got abit emotional. (seriously if you have any troubles or anything bothering you.tell me k?.i dont want you to keep everything to yourself.that way i cant know anything about you.i will always be there to share your burden.trust me ok?. :)

finished dinner.decided to go play CS.i dont play lan games that much but since it's Aaron's farewell dinner might as well just go.was waiting for my friends to draw money when my friend and his girlfriend approached me.

he asked me whether i had any girlfriend.'no?.why?.'he told me his girlfriend said her friends would be interested in guys like me and whether if i want her to introduce some.'huh?.havent even see me how to know whether they will be interested?.'enough stoning.'thanks i dont think i need cuz i already met someone i shouldnt miss out.'i replied.it's true deep down from that red fist-sized organ. :)

walked over to parkway lane.used to go this place for pool with my polymates.not that often though.haha.seriously i think this is 1 of de rare few times i entered a lan shop.lol.

told mum i wouldnt be back too late so decided to make a move with ah Bao.he's having a soccer game the next day morning.chatted with him again.lol.

actually i was anticipating something to be mailed but then i thought it's my wishful thinking again.and it turned out to be true. :) but is the 'no-call' thingy part of this plan too?.hope i can call soon.lol.

anyway.i understand.it answered some of my doubts. :)

couldnt sleep.'eeeeee...'omg!.what's that?.it sounded like some cabinet just opened.and it's those slowly slowly open type.it sure freaked me out.lol.woke up and observed whose it was.couldnt find.go back ZZzzz.

my body's aching from the dau pok sessions we had.seriously i dont know why of all beds they always target my bed.poor bed~.now it's showing it's dissatisfaction when i sit on it.*ee**ee eee* -_-

pushed myself up using my head.lol.it's quite comical.i think.lol.had breakfast.came back and koed on my 'displeased bed.haha.most of my bunkmates were playing soccer before one of my friend from the other platoon asked me to go running.

ran for about 45minutes.the weather today sure is hot.let's hope all this running and exercises will bring me my '6 kingdoms'!haha.then something happened.my friend was injured by my officer's ball.head on his glasses.i heard it was quite bad.

read 'MentalHospital' in bunk.it's Men'sHealth~.haha.you should be waking up around this hour.decided to close my eyes and rest for awhile.woke up for lunch.

bought a packet of foot powder for my cousin cuz she complained her feet's smelly.*note to self:stay away from her 'ET' looking feet next time.went back and started scanning the laptops for viruses.

-_- yes.and again we, the new guys get to do all the stuff.not that i am complaining but it's definitely faster if they can lend some hands.we had this radiotest on codewords.*i think your dad should know since he's a signaller back then.right uncle?. :)

but it was abit off the topic for us cuz we are in charge of computers and not radios.this is what happens when you have such officers who cant use their brains.throw their men into 'danger zones'.tried to kill his men.and not to mention my dear madam.how can you be so forgetful about our dinner?.trying to starve us?.she definitely deserved the scolding.but luckily thanks to her i am sitting down here and blogging.haha.thanks madam!.

i pondered over her words.she's right.i will try.bit by bit to know you more.be prepared for more outings and surprises.hehe. :)

it's been the 3rd day.but there's still nothing.you sent something right?.

for the past 2 days.i have been trying to calm myself down.but i really must apologise to my sister for what happened on monday night.even my mum told me i wasnt looking good that night.couldnt cover it up properly i guess.

if only i could control my thoughts.i mean they come out of nowhere and starts influencing my mood.till now i am still on shaky grounds.i have no clue of what it holds for me.i just have to wait.

enough of those stuffs.hoi!.told me not to call this few days.you and alichan had a 2hour session!.man am i jealous.lol.just joking.i am sure you must be very happy about your elective and especially able to study along with miss alicia.of course i am happy for you too. :)

was thinking of going out to celebrate the passing of your ballet exam.lol.but i guess this week would be abit tight issint?.lol.plus school's starting soon.i wonder if we could have chance to go out again.haha.

my day was destroyed by stupid people in the company.i seriously wanted to 'shoot' them right in their faces.i have never met such unreasonable people in my life.luckily we have tau pok sessions to cool ourselves down.(although most of the time i was at the bottom.tough luck.)

tomorrow's your ballet exam.jiayou for it ok?.do your best!.i know you can do it even when your 'big aunt's visiting you.i know it's uncomfortable but just hang in there girl.drink more water and try to eat more iron-rich food. :)

JIAYOU!JIAYOU!JIAYOU!

i will be waiting for your good news.and dont put too much pressure on yourself k?. :)

are you tired from work?.

i hope it wasnt that stressful in the afternoon.

i dont know if you have lessons today.

hope there isnt so that you have more time to rest.

Jiayou!ok?.

i believe you can do it.

i trust you.

thank you.

'just when the rain was about to fall.A girl came along and offered me her umbrella.'

by the time you read or maybe you wont even visit this blog anymore?.

i dont blame anyone for this.

dont ever feel guilty about anything.

seriously hope you can tahan until lesson's over.

sorry didnt realise time passed so fast when i am with you.

wanted to say that yesterday night.

sorry i couldnt say it out infront of you.

for that bear.it's seriously from Japan.i swear.lol.

sorry if i scared you.

sorry if i did stupid or embarrassing things infront of you.

thank you for taking your precious time.

i seriously enjoyed myself.

talking to you.looking at you.joking with you.eatting with you.drinking mocca with you.painting nails with you.lol.

thank you.

'some people are born to love while some are born to listen.'-i guess i am the 2nd type. :)

i decided to give it a try.

even if i know what it may turn out to be.

but i just have to let you know.

my truth.

even if it may just be upon my own wishful thinking.

it doesnt matter what the ending is.

i will accept whatever it is.

i have been that way all along.

haha..

'Faster take your passport!.take water bottle.'

next time i can forget about my alarm clock.i just need to tape down what they are talking about.lol.woke up by their loud conversations.mum and 2 sisters are going to Malaysia to pray at some temple and eat some seafood feast there.

checked mails and stuffs.sms came.lol.seems like you were dragged for running.but running is a healthy activity.look on the bright side k?. :)

wanted to head down to meet you but my hair's really messy.lol.ever seen a just-woke-up caveman?.around there le.lol.

head down to visit grandparents + buy lunch.grandpa's getting thinner as the days goes by.must buy more stuffs for him so that he has no excuse but to eat.wahaha.lesson learnt today:greed is the thing that separates the rich and poor.

mum came back with 'linglinglonglongs'.apparently they enjoyed the trip and bought alot of stuffs back.lol.the place they told me wasnt bad.maybe we could go there?.lol.what on earth am i thinking of...

tomorrow's the day.

'seezz seezz soozz soozz'

5 more minutes to 6pm.went to help my mum with the vcr.taught her how to set the timer.but i doubt she's going to remember it.lol.'ok press here first then press there...'

called miss sunshine. :) must be tired.hope you can have a longer sleep tomorrow. :)

waited for sis to come back from school to take a bath before heading to causeway point.changed and went out.woah.the bus was full of people until the front door.lol.

waited for the next bus to come.dad asked me about how to celebrate my 21st.just something simple and presentable will do.haha.will you come?.
aunts and birthday girl were in swensen already.as usual there's this queue outside swensen but we walked in like some vips.lol.hope they dont curse and swear at us.lol.

chillicrab dishes were featured on the special menu.considering my flu i cant take my chances with chilli.so i ordered breaded chicken.today the wait time was quite alright.the chicken tasted like chicken and so did the fries.LOL.

as usual dad threw some of his fish'n'chips to me and in return i gave him and mum some breaded chicken. :) there were 2 cups of complementary coffee cuz my aunt has some dont know card offer.lol.i didnt even ask for it and it came right to me.ok i admit i am a coffee addict. :(

mum didnt want to share with me cuz i dont add anything (sugar + milk) in it.then i 'just put lor.'she happily throw in the milk and sugar.lol.but it's too bitter for her so she took a small sip and gave me that >.< face.'nah i dont want liao.' -.-

dad was discussing about the trip to the temple in Malaysia.the meeting time was too late so dad wasnt very happy about it.my personal opinion:11am is really abit late cuz the ferry services stops after 4pm.somemore have to take taxi in from the jetty.i heard it's quite ulu ulu (like this blog).so in the end i have someone to accompany me tomorrow.haha.

dad left early to go back close shop.my nose is acting up again.and i did something stupid.lol.i was trying to squeeze the lemon slice using my fork and knife.in the end it 'phew~' onto my shirt.i was like 'shit..' quickly clean off and see whether anyone saw. -.-

saw my secondary school friend.to my surprise she actually recognises me.lol.she's working at swensen till the end of this month.apparently she found a perm job.haha.

the aunties wanted to go shopping so i decided to return first.the bus was full of people. o.o

looks like i also contracted the 'michael jackson' syndrome.LOL.was sneezing big time in the morning.

Breakfast: ham egg pork floss bread with coffee.

nothing much today.just came online checked stuffs.played ps2.read men'shealth.newspaper.watched some house makeover show taped by my mum.

Remedy for 'MJS': hot lemon.

that should hold it for sometime.going to swensen @ causeway point later evening.celebrating sis's birthday.shall ask her what's her choice of present this year.

tomorrow i will be home alone for the entire morning.parents and relatives going over to Malaysia via boat to pray at some temple then have an seafood feast before coming back.and me.cuz of my ops manning period(cant leave Singapore even if it's a halfday thingy at neighbouring Malaysia.)

shall go for a run in the morning tomorrow. :) Haaa Chewww.

will be heading down to TanTockSeng tomorrow.accompany mum to her appointment for her mammogram results.appointment's at 10am i think.

anyway from 19th April onwards i will not be in Singapore.flying over to Thailand for exercise.because of private Foo.want to go then want to drag me along.lol.not confirmed yet.but should be most probably that way...i guess i will miss you...very much.

online.this blog.your blog.friendster.facebook.

checked handphone.

offline.men'shealth.watched tv in parent's room.

checked handphone.

checked clock.

online.surprise.lol.

happy april fools day X 01.

woke up at 7am.

went out at 7.45am.

reached camp at 8.38am.

handphone rang.

picked up.

'hello kelvin.dont need to come back.go home.go home.'

happy april fools day X 02.

ns friend called.

'eh where are you?.i thought you are supposed to be in camp?.'-start to worry.

sergeant aaron called.

'hello.you all never go back camp?.'-abit worried.

sergeant dennis called.

'hey where are all of you?.have to be in camp you know?.'-really worred. -.-''

let's hope i dont need to go back now.

sorry about yesterday.must had made you worried.so sorry k?. :(